


I don't have dreams, I just have nightmares

by rorytheroman



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Car Sex, M/M, Street Racing, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 09:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4662417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rorytheroman/pseuds/rorytheroman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Let me dream of nothing, let me dream of nothing,” he muttered over and over again until he fell asleep.</p><p>As if it was that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I don't have dreams, I just have nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> " fic request: rovinsky street racing followed by car sex?? maybe if ur still doin this "

It was one of those nights when Adam disappeared with Gansey. Ronan found a quickly scribbled note on his bedroom door. He took it and threw on the floor. Angrily ignoring his buzzing phone, he jumped on the bed.

He couldn’t find his headphones and there was no sign of Noah in the building, what probably wasn’t a coincidence. Ronan sighed and let his eyelids close. He was exhausted. His body begged for sleep, not to mention his mind which he would gladly plug off.

“Let me dream of nothing, let me dream of nothing,” he muttered over and over again until he fell asleep.

As if it was that easy. About an hour later he woke up screaming along to Chainsaw’s rattle. Sweaty palms clinging the sheets. When his breath eventually evened out he rolled off the mattress. It was pointless to go back to sleep. He wouldn’t find any rest anyway.

Ronan took keys to his BMW and headed out. At the door he noticed some movement at the corner of his eye.

“You’re back,” he more stated than asked.

“And you’re apparently leaving. May I ask where to?” said Gansey.

“Out. Where’s Adam?”

“You know he doesn’t like to stay here. I dropped him at h – ” he stopped because the word ‘home’ would sound too ridiculous.

“Yeah, okay. I’m out,” he mumbled and stormed the stairs so he wouldn’t have to see Gansey’s worried expression. He’d deal with that in the morning. Or not.

Ronan’s hands didn’t stop shaking until he clutched the wheel. For a moment he just sat there. Breathing. Watching skin on his knuckles get pale. Sudden vibration in his pocket made him start the car.  Tires squealed loudly and he was already gone.

He roamed empty streets of Henrietta not even bothering to take his foot off the gas pedal once in a while. He hid himself in the speed, in the roar of the engine. Hoping that if he drove fast enough he’d become one of those blurry points beside the road. Just like a street light stops being a street light because all you see is an unidentified bright spot. That’s what he wanted to become. There would be no more Ronan. Just a fast moving blur. Something that doesn’t dream. Something that doesn’t feel. Something not quite real.

He hit the brake when he reached first traffic light. He sat covered in the red afterglow, waiting. He still didn’t move when the light turned green. His whole body got twitchy when he heard violent music and rushing cars from afar. Every single thing he felt, every thought in his mind evaporated. His whole body filled with anticipation.

Eventually the wait came to an end. A row of obnoxiously expensive cars pulled beside him. Someone on the right put down the window. He saw a vaguely familiar face, the boy was called Prokopenko as far as Ronan knew. But as far as he cared he might as well have no name.  Prokopenko sent him a daring look and shifted a little in his seat, so Ronan could take a look at the person on a passenger’s seat. Kavinsky.  Ronan was surprised to see owner of a majestic white Mitsubishi in someone else’s car.

“Close your mouth, princess. There’ll be time for that later,”  Kavinsky said with a smug face. He smiled that cruel smile of his that doesn’t really reach eyes. Not like his eyes weren’t containers of cruelty on their own.

“Fuck off,  Kavinsky. What’s up with you anyway, scared? ” he asked, not even trying to hide his disappointment. “Making your dogs race on your behalf?”

“Let’s say I’m a good mommy, I let my babes have their five minutes of glory,” he replied unimpressed. “Oh and by the way... my Mitsu and I are the prize.”

Green light flashed and Proko’s car jumped forward. Ronan didn’t think twice. He furiously went after him and by the time they reached another stop he was already ahead of him. Apparently Kavinsky taught his children how to properly fuck gear shift as well.

“I knew you’d want to win me, Lynch,” he winked at him. Prokopenko passed him a beer can. “But it’s not fair that you’re sober. You race my pack equally fucked as they are, you win. You can have my Mitsu. You win sober, you win nothing. Sorry sweetheart, I don’t make the rules.”

Ronan seemed to think it over. He didn’t care that much about the Mitsu, let alone about Kavinsky. At least that was what he repeatedly told himself. But getting wasted and winning a few races seemed like a good outlet to whatever he was feeling.

With a furrowed brow he left the car and took the beer out of Kavinsky’s hands. “Deal,” he said after he downed it. “How much have _they_ drank?”

“It wasn’t just booze but knowing how prude you are, you can go with vodka,” Kavinsky replied blowing smoke on his face.

Ronan reached out for the bottle. And he drunk. It tasted awful, it burned his tongue and throat but with every sip he felt more at peace with himself. He drank until everything around started spinning. Kavinsky laughed playfully ( something that Ronan didn’t think he was capable of ). He held Ronan’s arm with one hand and took the bottle away from him with the other.

“You’ve had enough. For now,” he said. “Now get in the car. Skov and Swan can’t wait to beat your sorry ass.”

Ronan did as he was told. Before he started the car he felt a brush of a cold air on his cheek.

“Don’t do it,” Noah said.

“Oh look who’s here. Did you come to give me back  my headphones? Kinda bad timing.”

“Ronan you can’t drink and drive. One dead guy in our gang is enough, don’t you think?”

“Noah, as much as I appreciate your concern, get the fuck out,” said Ronan and turned on the car radio. And Noah was gone.

Ronan first raced Swan then Skov and Jiang. He won every time. They all had trouble staying in their own lane, cars clashed and Henrietta lost a couple or road signs but no one died so Ronan didn’t let himself feel guilty.  When they pulled over, Kavinsky looked oddly satisfied.

“Nice, Lynch,” he said. “I guess now’s the time you come and claim your prize. Follow us.”

And he did follow them. Destination: substance party. When they came Ronan saw mass of people, lots of cars and some burning spots here and there. But it was Kavinsky’s party, and him and fire were one inseparable thing.

Ronan suddenly realised he was alone in a crowd. No sign of Kavinsky or his dogs. But then something white flashed at the other side of the venue. He headed that way.  
Halfway through he felt another brush on his skin. But this time it was burning hot. It was Kavinsky. Ronan shivered and Kavinsky must have felt that too, because Ronan heard him laugh. Kavinsky leaned in.

“Care to finish that bottle, Lynch?” he asked, shaking it in front of Ronan’s face.

Ronan had to lean in as well, because music got even louder.

“Sure,” he screamed into Kavinsky’s ear. He took the bottle out of his hand and started walking towards the car again. Kavinsky snorted and shook his head but followed him anyway.

They sat on the hood, drinking in silence. Or Ronan was drinking and each time Kavinsky reached for the bottle he shook his head and took a sip.

Kavinsky stared with raised eyebrows but didn’t say anything. Ronan didn’t trust his judgement but it seemed to him that with each sip Kavinsky’s body was closer to his. He knew he shouldn’t enjoy it, but he did and he was way too drunk to care.

When the bottle was finally empty, Ronan let Kavinsky take it. He smashed it on the ground with a childish joy. Ronan look at him with his half closed eyes.

“Why did you do that? Someone from the crowd may get hurt,” he said.

“Oh, holy Lynch has spoken. Your Dick is showing. No pun int – wait I think your dick is literally showing. Are you hard?”

“Fuck you. I was serious,” he said, looking as offended as it gets.

“Please, don’t give me that look. You don’t really give a fuck about them. And how do you think, why did they all come here in first place? Why did you come here in first place?”

Silence.

“Exactly, Lynch. They want to get hurt. They want to trip their balls off, get fucked, get hurt, get wrecked. Just like that,” he said and stepped on the broken glass. He took it in his hands and a few second later blood started dripping. “Do you see, Lynch?” he asked, closing his fists.

“Come here, you fucking moron,” Ronan said. Kavinsky sat back next to him, letting him take the glass out of his skin. “I didn’t come here looking for damage, you know.”

“Yeah you don’t have to look for that, it finds you anyway, sweetheart,” Kavinsky said.

“I came here to escape, K. The nightmares...”

“Jesus, Lynch, you fucking crybaby. This whole world is a nightmare. You wanna escape it? Kill yourself,” he snapped.

“Forget it,” said Ronan. “Get me more booze.”

Few seconds later Kavinsky was back with couple of bottles containing weird-looking liquids.

“What do you wanna start with, Lynch?”

“Gimme the purple one,” Ronan said. Their hands touched when Kavinsky passed him the bottle. Ronan looked up and stared for a little too long for Kavinsky not to notice. K smirked.

“If you want to escape, how about going for a little ride then?” he asked, maintaining the eye contact. Ronan’s breath got heavy.

“Sure, gimme the keys”, he said.

Kavinsky’s grin got even wider as he threw the keys into his pants. “Haven’t you listened to me, princess? It’s me and the Mitsu or nothing.”

“Do you really think I won’t take them out?”

“Oh God, I hope will all my heart that you will, Lynch,” he said.

Ronan jumped off the hood and took a few sloppy steps towards Kavinsky. But he turned back on him and opened the car’s door. When Ronan caught up with him, Kavinsky pushed him inside.

“Wanna start the search?” Kavinsky asked, looking meaningfully at the back seats.

They made their way to the back . Ronan still shivered when he straddled Kavinsky’s lap. He took Kavinsky’s shirt off, touching every inch of his skin, feeling his fingers burn.

“Just checking if they’re not here,” he whispered into Kavinsky’s ear.

“Don’t miss a spot,” Kavinsky replied, pulling him closer.

Eventually Ronan slipped his hand into Kavinsky’s jeans. Both of them started breathing faster as Ronan moved his hand. He grabbed the keys and stopped for a moment. He considered taking them and leaving. His body begged him to stay but his mind screamed ‘What are you doing, Lynch?’. Before he decided he felt Kavinsky’s sharp nails on is skin. There was  such hunger in his eyes. Kavinsky could devour him and Ronan wouldn’t mind. He grabbed Ronan’s tank top and pulled him closer than before. Ronan could see his skinny chest rise and fall rapidly.

“You put that hand back in there, boy,” Kavinsky gasped out, jerking his hips up a little.

There was no self control left in Ronan, whatsoever. Just to tease Kavinsky a little more he placed his hands on Kavinky’s ribs. He traced them with his fingers as he leaned and planted a soft kiss on the boy’s neck. Fingers went lower as the kisses got more violent. By the time Ronan reached Kavinsky’s cock, he was already biting his skin, stealing suppressed moans form the skinny boy beneath him. When Ronan’s hand started moving faster, Kavinsky couldn’t hold himself back and pulled him in for a kiss. The way their lips met was rough but wet and sloppy, as befits a drunken make out.

Suddenly Kavinsky arched his back and came with absolutely no warning right into Ronan’s hand. K rested his forehead on Ronan’s chest for a second, before he pushed him on the seat and rolled onto him. His movements were quick, impatient. He ripped Ronan’s tank top off and started planting kisses and sucking all over his skin. Kavinsky followed his treasure trail with his tongue and unbuttoned his jeans. Ronan hesitated before he ran his fingers through  Kavinsky’s hair and pulled a little. Kavinsky looked up and smirked.

‘Do it,’ Ronan mouthed.

And so he did. He took Ronan into his mouth and sucked so intensely as if he wanted Ronan to still  feel his lips the following day and the day after and after. Ronan wriggled beneath him, clenching his fists on Kavinsky’s hair. He let out a little scream when he reached orgasm but the loud beats from outside muffled all his noises of pleasure.

Kavinsky wiped his lips and lifted himself. He fell on the seat breathing fast, and washed his mouth with the purple liquor.

“I think you should go,” he said to Ronan who was struggling to pull up his jeans.

Ronan had a lot of questions but didn’t ask any of them. Confused and frankly, quite offended, he got out of the car.

“See you on the streets, princess,” Kavinsky shouted at him.

When Ronan made his way back to the BMW, he saw Noah sitting on the passenger’s seat. He got in the car and slammed the door.

“No. Don’t say a word, Noah.”

Noah hadn’t even tried because a few seconds later he blurted out, “ Your zipper is undone” followed by a series of giggles because of course _he knew_.

Ronan refused to comment on that.

In the morning he found white Mitsubishi parked outside Monmouth. Little note read: “This one's for you. Just the way you like it: fast and anonymous.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the song "staying up" by the neighbourhood
> 
> it wasn't beta'd or anything, so feel free to point out anything that doesn't make sense/should be changed
> 
> if you liked it ( & i hope you did at least a lil bit) feel free to leave another fic request, this or other fandom. if i'm familiar with it, i'll probably write it
> 
> you can message me on tumblr: dzemorek.tumblr.com/ask


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